Posts by Coffee House Girl

43

Help Please - Finding It Hard Adjusting To The Real World

by pale.emperor in

im asking for you guys help in a phase im going through right now.

im sure it’ll pass but id appreciate your advice..

born in, my family consists of mum, dad, two brothers and two sisters.

Coffee House Girl

I was a born-in with 90 percent of my family in the organization, I also left when I was 31. I am 38 now-how time flies! I did go to college- got my masters degree, it took me 6 years. I remember now those early days- most everything made me uncomfortable, and every decision felt like an exhausting process.

It took me about 3 years to make any friends, other posters are right when they say that just a few good friends is enough (we are used to having scores of "friends"...but you quickly realize that these friends at the Kingdom Hall were conditional relationships).

It takes time when you are an adult to make friends because we are all so busy, and it is true that many adults already have a circle of friends they've been hanging out with since they were young. In my case, I had to start to cultivate my own interests first before making friends...as a Jdub we were never able to have many hobbies or find our passions- so I had to take the first step of finding out who I really was...then find people who share my passions. Going to college made that part easy- so my first friends were those with the same major as me.

Then when I got out of college I had to move across the country to find work. I started over in a new community- the friend finding process had to start all over again. I had to force myself to do things in the community to meet people (this is hard to do since I am a bit reserved)...eventually it took about 9-10 months for me to find a few people who were interesting to hang out with. Now I am moving again for a new job....it starts over again. I think I have gotten used to being a loner, I still have a hard time in social situations... and maybe I always will.

The friends I have made along the way...I keep up with on Facebook, that helps when I am lonely in a new place. I try to find exJW groups on meetup where ever I move- I have been to a few exJW meetups, I always find them helpful...to talk in person to others who get where I am coming from.

So my point is...it can be a hard road, but now that it has been 7 years- things have gotten much easier...I know myself- and it is much easier for me to evaluate people to choose who I want to spend time with...instead of having a congregation full of "friends" who in reality you don't really share much in common with and lets face it...many of them bug the shit out of you. I wish you the best of luck-

CHG

51

I lied to the elders

by atacrossroads in

jw
friends

i stopped attending meetings all together in january 2015. before that my attendance was irregular at best.

my husband followed suit a few months ago after months of research, agony, and indecision on his part.

from the very beginning i laid low and did not share with anyone what i found out about the witnesses because i did not want to be df'd.

Coffee House Girl

I probably would have done the same thing in lying to the elders if I had been in your shoes…sometimes my survival instincts kick in when those moments occur.

You mother also sounds a lot like mine, trust me, you were going to lose her either way. I would (as others have said) let things subside a bit- then maybe just take the high road and write an email or letter to your parents saying that you will always love them, and your heart is always open to them if they want a relationship with you. Put the ball in their court…their indoctrination will make them automatically reply that it is "your fault…you are the one walking away"…but you know that is really not true- and you can at least have the peace of knowing that you extended the olive branch.

Sorry that you are going through this- I can relate!

CHG

6

My academic career !

by fulltimestudent in

jw
friends

i've decided to graduate at the end of this year (2015).

i need 69 credit points to graduate successfully at my university, and i already have about 80. i also have to write a capstone essay (of 5000 words) on a ancient history topic.

in addition, i'm doing two other 5000 word research essays this year.

Coffee House Girl

I will be graduating with my masters in history the fall of 2015…

History Geeks of the World Unite!!!!!

Best of luck on your research topics, they sound very interesting :)

CHG

103

That does it ! I'm leaving ! ! !

by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

jw
friends

leaving the university with my degree!.

exams are finished and it's just a matter of days before i walk.. i was certainly stressed about doing this.

i'm older than my classmates and armageddon was sooooo close!

Coffee House Girl

Congrats on all you have accomplished! You made your own way, and it feels soooo good doesn't it

I have one more year, then I finsh my masters and I will do a happy dance with ya (hopefully with my own job as well)!!

CHG

62

DELIGHTFUL DROP IN MEMORIAL ATTENDANCES: 2011 VERSUS 2014!

by steve2 in

the us kingdom ministry shows the collective total 2014 memorial attendances of the countries that now comprise the us territory in 2014: 2,610,810.. those countries are: the usa, bermuda, jamaica, turks and caicos and puerto rico.. the same collective total for those same countries three years ago - 2011 - was 2,666,592.. that's a decrease of 55,782 from 2011 to 2014. i am happified.. while there has been the occasional year in which memorial attendances from one year to the next have shown decrease, this is a first: decline evident over a three-year period.. comments please!.

.

anyone have the know how on how to provide the link for the kingdom ministry download?

Coffee House Girl

marked

38

Protect the elderly

by defender of truth in

this weeks km is telling elders to arrange for group studies with people in local nursing homes, with instructions on how to word things when speaking to the directors etc.. they are clearly trying to get to people who may not be entirely able to think for themselves or who may lack critical thinking and yet may have money to leave to them.. what can you do?.

well, if you wanted to, write a short and simple letter or email to your local care home, perhaps directly even speak to the director yourself... warn them about the brainwashing and danger of breaking up of families etc.

the km says they should identify themselves as jw's... .

Coffee House Girl

Sorry...just saw this thread...(I do like the template by the way, I will give it some thought for my area)

It all makes sense now, my mom (regular pioneer) keeps talking about her group of pioneer sisters going to the nursing home every week to study with the residents....mom was complaining about one of the pioneers being too "pushy" with the residents, making sure they are paroting the correct answers from the study publications (my mom knew they have alziemers or dementia and wouldn't remember what was just read to them).

Do you think this is a cop out for the pioneers??? With the new "internet witnessing" from JW.org, this leaves a lot of sisters without as many activities to count time with (since only a few at a time can guard a cart at the train station or public place they will allow JWs to sit)

curious....

26

good news-- step one accomplished!

by losingit in

jw
friends

i just wanted to share the good news that wednesday was the last day of my summer teaching internship.

i had a great time with the kids-- they were ready to learn, be challenged and have fun.

and this was summer school!

Coffee House Girl

How wonderful!!! Congrats on your achievement...it IS worth it :)

CHG

90

PEER PRESSURE!!! I gave in to Pioneering during August...I feel dirty...

by stuckinarut2 in

ok, i'll admit it...i am weak.... as everyone knows, the pressure to "pioneer" during "the most momentous, awesome, amazing, centenary anniversay of jesus invisble kigdom rule, & distribute tracts about a dodgy website" campaign is very strong at the moment.... also, many will have read my threads about the extreme views and expectations in our cong for "all appointed men to pioneer" etc..... every elder and ms and their families have been announced as pioneering....i mean everyone's name was read out except mine..... i was not going to do it, as i do not believe anyone should be forced...(and of course its the last thing on earth i would rather do anyway since learning ttatt).

but i am not quite ready to make the break yet, so i realised that i would stand out more if i didnt put in a form to pioneer.

yes it would make me more conspicious, and make fading harder to do...it would bring more heat on me if i didnt pioneer.. so i gave in and submitted a form.... now, of course, i'm only going to make sure i'm seen at the key field service groups etc...but then go and do something more interesting...like count blades of grass..... ahh....i feel hypocritical to myself now......

Coffee House Girl

SIAR,

I think it is cool that you are going to alter the stupid JWorg. tracts with the JW.facts web address instead , do keep us updated if that leads to any interesting results ...

if I had it to do all over again, I would totally have soooo much fun screwing with the "watchtower rules" before my final exit (so I am living vicariously through people like you who are stuck on the inside)-

I do hope you get your freedom one day on your terms!

Best of luck!

CHG

26

Have you reconnected with ex-JW's after you have left the Borg?

by EdenOne in

jw
friends

after reading from another thread, i felt it was worth asking this question.. if you left the borg on your own, have you attempted to meet others whom you used to be connected with while you were "in", but who have also become ex-jw's before or after you have left the wts?

if that's the case, has it remained a friendship, or the connection grew cold?

just curious as to what keeps friendships "stick" [or not] once you no longer have the borg's doctrinal glue.. your experiences are welcome.. eden.

Coffee House Girl

Yes, I have met a few...it is true that the only things we have in common is the fact that we are exJW...often the conversation revolves around JW subjects, but it is cathardic to talk about it with real humans (on this forum is nice too...but face to face is also very theraputic).

Honestly though...I am not really close with any exJWs that I knew while I was "in", they are great people, but not the type that I would call everyday and hang out with frequently (it is usually just once or twice a year).

CHG

4

college

by Princess Ashe in

i just started taking a few college classes.

and i'm finding it hard to figure out topics to argue about.

thinking for myself and forming my own opionions about certain subjects.

Coffee House Girl

I can totally relate,

I didn't participate a lot in classes because I really couldn't form an opinion....it wasn't until my senior year that I could tell my faculty advisor about my background and reasons for why I struggled so much...she was gracious and understanding, but I still cannot articulate an intelligent thesis statement...

there are exercises you can do (google critical thinking questions for analyzing an article)....I've used these questions to try to draw out the main points of what I am reading, and get me to think about their validity...but I feel I will always struggle with this-

BUT, this hasn't stopped me from continuing my education-

Keep going, see where this takes you!!!!

CHG